9:10pm on Saturday, 16 July 2022 London, England

• Distance:- 352.04km
• Moving Time:- 15:18:34
• Elevation:- 2,230m
• Weighted Avg Power:- 135W
• Energy:- 5,434kj
• With:- Andy Cyrus and Mark

The Dunwich Dynamo

The Dunwich Dynamo aka The Dun Run is a unique, magical, completely free mass night ride. You leave London around 9pm and with a gentle tailwind and end in Dunwich at the seaside for the sunrise. I have been told it was started by a few people from the London fixie/ courier scene as a fun midsummer ride to greet the sun. Before Covid, it drew thousands of riders of all shapes, sizes and disciplines. Thankfully it still retains its independent, non commercial feel. You won’t find banners shouting names such as Garmin, Wahoo, Wiggle, Strava or the like and you won’t be given a welcome pack, timing chip or lanyard with a number.

A very, very few deranged people, myself included, retrace the route back to London to make it a double century – then some.

You will find locals sitting in front of their houses with deck chairs, fairy lights and candles, cheering riders on as you pass through their village. You will find others offering rest and respite or coffee and cake in their gardens to help you on your way. You will also find plenty of pubs en-route that throw up gazebos with barbecues to cater for the inevitable crowds that gather for burgers, chips and beer. All the while, the twinkle of head and tail lights thread their way into the distance, marking the way in the moonlight. You can find other similar night rides like Moonrakers & Sunseekers. However, there really is nothing else quite like the Dunwich Dynamo that I know of.

Most people will ride to Dunwich, then take some time to rest and recover, enjoy the beach and have breakfast in the pub before taking some pre arranged transport home. A very, very few deranged people, myself included, retrace the route back to London to make it a double century – then some.

The Dunwich Dynamo Go Team

There was no diary entry for this. My buddy Silver Fox informed me family stuff was happening, so he was out. Andy, on the other hand, had mentioned on the interwebs that he was doing it with his friend Cyrus, whom I’d never met. Life’s too short I thought, and reached out to Andy that morning. #GameOn.

We rode effortlessly smoothly through the increasingly narrowing lanes after Epping, following the string of lights that’s so unique to the Dunwich Dynamo.

My priority was to plot the essential route home, which didn’t go that smoothly, tbh. I’d shunned computers years ago, so my laptop from 2009 was tediously slow – #LoveHateComputers. This meant that the mapping took a while. When I eventually finished, I ran a quick checklist; new batteries in the HR monitor and power meter; air in tyres; lube on the chain; the basics. Finally, at the last minute (or rather, late-ish, truthfully), I left to meet Andy and Cyrus as planned at London Fields Lido that evening. After a quick hello, a hasty beer from the Pub On The Park at the start point and a few selfies, we were away…

A mutual attraction

My ancient Garmin, given to me by a dear friend, immediately said “FU” – as it does – to my plans and sent me…. Nowhere!!!! I really have to sort my tech shit out as I’m starting to detect a theme here. Thankfully Cyrus, who had a far superior and much newer Wahoo Roam, eventually put us back on course. Somehow, whilst lost, we picked up a hapless follower named Mark, who was hoping we knew where to go!!!! Ooops…

The forecast was for the hottest temperatures in the UK since records began, so I wasn’t packing any warm clothing.

The exit through Epping seemed much quieter than previous years to me. Still, we found a fair few out riding their bikes. Cyrus set a strong pace and we rolled to our first proper pub stop with Mark still in tow. Kudos to him????. He admitted to only riding his bike to commute to work but was still with us! He was even brave enough to lead us a couple of times #Impressive. We rode effortlessly smoothly through the increasingly narrowing lanes after Epping, following the string of lights that’s so unique to the Dunwich Dynamo. We glided by many riders with our measured yet nippy pace. The rest of the ride followed a similar pattern. We had loads of fun, flitting playfully between other riders. Cyrus drove on with his steady pace and Mark beasted it by holding our wheel.

My ride buddies

My ride buddies were being so kind, sharing food and encouraging me to drop back, knowing I was doing the double. The forecast was for the hottest temperatures in the UK since records began, so I wasn’t packing any warm clothing. Aside from it being bitterly cold in places – go figure – the ‘turn-by-turn’ directions failing catastrophically, the constant beeping and an hour of missing data, all went pretty well.

Following several beer and food stops, loads of laughs and a slight slowing of pace as fatigue took its toll, we made it to the coast at Dunwich where, after loitering in the pub there for a while, I said my goodbyes and turned around quickly to try and beat the worst of the heat.

Dunwich Dynamo in reverse

I felt good. On the way out, I kept it mainly to Zone 2 (easy-ish), whilst the run-in to the coast was Zone 1 (not much). A perfectly paced outward leg.

I hardly notice the wheels coming off…

The first few miles of my return, without any directions, were easy enough. There was basically only one road to follow! Before long though, I needed to stop and reboot the screwed computer a couple of times. Thankfully, this semi-sorted my mapping. I was completely fucked without it! With that, and having a trail of riders still on the outward stretch to follow in reverse, I rode on.

It’s all downhill from here

I hardly notice the wheels coming off… the slow rise of the heat, the accumulation of fatigue, the sleep deprivation, the absence of early Sunday food stops in remote England. These all played a part in me feeling progressively mashed.

It was hitting 30°C, so I couldn’t help micro napping.

It wasn’t far from Sudbury, some 80km later, where I found the first open convenience store. I needed food and drink badly. The sight of me probably freaked out the shopkeeper, but I escaped the store armed with salt and vinegar Pringles, a large bag of Chilli Heatwave Doritos, Jammie Dodgers and a bottle of Lucozade Original, then sat in the shade of a tree on the green opposite.

The Pringles went in first, Doritos second, the remaining Lucozade ended up neck down in the empty seat-stay bottle cage (top tip #1) and the Dodgers, being packaged in the perfect shape, were earmarked for the jersey pocket (top tip #2). You’re right, I’d taken on a bulk of food fast, which made me feel dozy. It was hitting 30°C, so I couldn’t help micro napping. Feeling marginally stronger but slightly queasy, I rode on through Sudbury, which offered a far better choice of food and drink, as well as seating, table service and toilets. Hey ho, we live by our choices.

A close encounter of the best kind

My pace had slowed and the temperature was hitting 36°C. I stopped to top up my water bottle at The Red Lion, as you come to Finchingfield. By now, it had been hours since the mass of riders had come through in the dark, all lights twinkling, shoes clacking, people chatting. Me walking into a bar in the blazing sunshine, with only one customer looking to get out the door, was a complete antithesis. It’s odd how quickly things change in such a short space of time.

I suspected heat exhaustion and now I was getting a bad pain in both of my big toes that I’d never had before.

The barmaid who greeted me was more than happy to fill my water bottle. She even asked if I would like a separate glass with ice to help me cool down. As I was sinking it, the landlady behind her asked me where I was headed. When I told her I was heading back to London after the Dunwich Dynamo, her face lit up. We spent several minutes discussing how much fun it was from both sides and how she loved hanging out and cheering people on. I told her it was her kind of support and enthusiasm that made the ride so special and it was hugely appreciated. It was a good interaction and put a smile on my face which, at that moment, probably looked fairly punched about…

Rock bottom

Things had gone from bad to worse. I couldn’t drink or eat for fear of throwing up. I suspected heat exhaustion and now I was getting a bad pain in both of my big toes that I’d never had before. At this point I felt in real trouble. I’d lost perspective and most of my strength. I made several stops and time started to ebb away. I walked barefoot a little for some toe relief. Toe relief?? WTF is toe relief???

There’s only so long you can stand and stare at the cold drinks fridge before the police are called.

Anyhow… whenever I felt able and safe, I chipped away at making progress. The breaking point (mentally) was noticing the power meter was dead. That new battery earlier hadn’t worked out. It’s the little things like that at times like this that can end you. Changing it at North Weald was a huge effort and took ages. Simple things, which take a little dexterity, can feel as challenging as climbing the highest mountain when you’re this wasted.

A second wind? More of a fizzle homeward

Down that main drag through Epping Forest, it was a case of keeping my best steady line and staying functional. I had hoped Tesco’s in Epping town was open so I could exploit its air conditioning, but it was closed. I stopped off at the next garage instead.

There’s only so long you can stand and stare at the cold drinks fridge before the police are called. I bought a bottle of cold water, went outside and poured it over myself. This marked a turning point. I regained a little focus and my riding had more purpose. By the time I hit London Fields again I was almost cognitive. After that, it wasn’t long before I got home, was told my children had tested Covid positive earlier and found myself in a cold bath.